It’s hard to believe it’s the middle of June already. School’s out, E3 has come and gone, and all that’s left for us Guild Wars 2 fans to do is to pick up our World vs. World Spring Tournament rewards and kick back with a tall glass of omnomberry juice (pro tip: don’t).
We’re still two weeks out from the start of the living world’s second season, and ArenaNet has so far been especially cryptic where the future is concerned. We’ve speculated all there is to speculate for now, and summer heat makes me cranky, so before we blast off to any new horizons, let’s take a look back at a few of the unfinished, unimplemented, and underutilized elements of GW2 that could really use some catching up.
Whenever I wander into Divinity’s Reach, two things usually happen: A carnival worker will tell me to check out Mina’s shooting gallery, and Mina will tell me her shooting gallery is closed unless I’m a friend of Minister Caudecus. As a royalist who fiercely supports Queen Jennah, I am curiously absent from the guest list. This is probably for the minister’s own safety.
GW2 has its fair share of minigames, and most of them are accessible from major cities. Most of them are also instanced, though, which takes away somewhat from their original purpose: to give players something to do while we’re cooling our heels in the city and socializing. The absence of city-based activities is made more conspicuous by the clearly marked minigame-shaped holes that haven’t yet been filled. Rata Sum has a polymock arena. Pre-destruction Lion’s Arch contained a cleverly branded little area that seemed to hint at minipet battles.
Will ArenaNet ever get a chance to add that sort of activity? It’s hard to say, since they haven’t been commented on in some time. When last year’s Dragon Bash festival introduced moa racing in Lion’s Arch, there was some speculation that city activities would see a revival, but the races turned out to just be gambling with no player input beyond betting. The moas have now gone to that great racetrack in the sky, and we don’t even know if their tiny replacements will grow up to take their place. Rest in peace, Meep.
In the meantime, let me teach you how to play my favorite minigame. It’s accessible only from Rata Sum, and admittedly it’s a little bit glitchy. The first step is to make sure you have a nearby waypoint visible on your minimap that can be clicked immediately. The second step is easy: Fling yourself off the side of the city into the great beyond and see how far you can slide before you either waypoint to safety or hit an obstacle and die.
It’s called cube surfing, and all the cool kids are doing it. You earn extra points if the game gets confused as to where the heck you are and deposits you alive on the usually inaccessible ledge you were about to splatter against instead of at the waypoint. It’s perfectly safe. Trust me — I’m a professional writer.